missing you.
Friday, November 03, 2006, 8:19 PM
Boo hoo.
I'm now in the mids of writing some reports on my 2wk long expedition. I was fliping thru my journal that i wrote in when i was in Laos, to recall some events. I came upon a page that i have to share to you all. In hopes that all of you would understand. I guess it's good to express it out.
171006
- Evening-
I just came out from the nearby mini mart, with an ice- cream on my hand suddenly I felt a tug on my white shirt. A child, with the most beautiful hazel-coloured eyes looks up at me. He's clothes were a little torn and covered with dirt. He wore no foot ware to protect he's feet from the rocky street road. He was one of the many street children of Laos who have to settle to poverty to survive. With him, were another 2 girls sitting on a wooden bench with the same fate, who are eating packed rice that was left by tourists. He was pointing at my cookies and cream cone ice cream, wanting a bite of it. That connection I made with that child through he’s eyes. I can't bear to not give him.
But I didn't.
I can't. I look far away in tears; not wanting to have the second connection with he's begging eyes and slowly take my steps with my team back to our lodge.
Heartless? I don't know. You be the judge.
We were once told earlier in the trip, that we would be experiencing such situation. My senior left some lasting questions and options.
Are you doing any good to them?
If you give one, will others come and ask too?
Will they still be begging for more?
What's their future lies for them, if you give?
It's a life cycle for them. Once they beg, they will still keep on begging and as they aged when they aren't adorable and cute, they would divert to more poverty, stealing and even prostitution. Yes, it may sound ridiculous far future for them but these little bits of actions in their life do made their way of living.
Am I selfish?
Am I right not to give?
I don't know. What say you? Whenever I pass by the same place, I look out for them, sadly, that was the first and last time I saw them.